Something about the way she was looking at me...
Something about the way she was looking at me made
me uncomfortable and I shifted around"I think the actual number might be
twenty-one Of course there were a few pictures I
wasn't countingFriends with Benefits, for
instanceThe one I sometimes thought of as Candy
Brown Loses His BreathAnd the red-robe sketch
I did the addition in my head and shifted around
some more
"And you have no idea how amazing that isI can
see by your face that you don't She got up,
605
dumped her ashtray in a wastebasket behind the
couch, then stood looking at the Hockney with her
hands in the pockets of her expensive slacksThe
painting showed a cube of a house and a gucci new bag blue
swimming poolBeside the pool was a ripe teenager
in a black tank suitShe was all breasts and long
tanned legs and dark hairShe wore dark glasses,
and a tiny sun blazed in each lens
"Is that an original?" I asked
"Yes indeed," she said, without turning"The girl
in the swimsuit is an original, tooMary Ire,
circa 1962 She turned to me,
her face fierce"Turn that tape recorder offThe
interview is over
"I want you to listen to meWill you?"
"Of course
"There are artists who labor for months over a
single painting of half the quality your work
showsOf course many spend their mornings getting
over the excesses of the night before
you're producing omega planet ocean watches these things like a man working
on an assembly lineLike a magazine illustrator
or aa comic-book artist!"
606
"I grew up believing folks were supposed to work
hard at what they do - I think that's all it is
When I had my own company, I worked much longer
hours, because the hardest boss a man can ever
have is himself"Not true for everyone, but when it is
true, it's really true
"I just carried that
over to what I do nowHell,
it's better than all right
it's like I go into a daze"I'm not trying to set the world's
land-speed record, or anything-"
"I know that," she said"Tell me, do you block?"
"Block?" I knew what the word meant in a knock off tiffany jewelry football
context; otherwise, I was drawing a blank"What's
that?"
"Never mindIn Wireman Looks West - which is
staggering, by the way, that brain - how did you
set the features?"
"I took some pictures," I said
"I'm sure you did, darling, but when you got ready
to paint the portrait, how did you set the
features?"
607
"Iwell, I-"
"Did you use the third-eye rule?"
"Third-eye rule? I never heard of any third-eye
rule
She smiled at me kindly"In order to get the
right spacing between a subject's eyes, painters
will often imagine or even block a third eye
between the two actual onesWhat about the mouth?
Did you center it using the ears?"
"Nothat is, I didn't know buy chanel purse you were supposed to
do that Now it felt as if I were blushing all
over my body"I'm not suggesting y'all start
following a bunch of bullshit art school rules
after breaking them so spectacularly"Thirty paintings
since last November? No, it's even less time than
that, because you didn't start painting right
away
"Of course not, I had to get some art supplies
first," I said, and Mary laughed herself into a
coughing fit that she washed away with a sip of
Scotch
608
"If thirty paintings in three months is what
almost getting crushed to death does," she said
when she could talk again, "maybe I ought to find
me a crane
"You wouldn't want to," I omega watch replica sa